This is something that we hear days leading up to the New Year and days following the New Year. I have to be honest, I am not a fan of resolutions. I am an instant gratification type of girl so the thought of working at something and knowing it will take time to see results just makes it seem impossible. Every New Year’s Resolution I ever made in my young adult life centered around losing weight and standing up for myself in some area of my life. Out of those two resolutions I would be successful with the losing weight for a short time and obviously since it was a yearly resolution, I wasn’t very successful with maintaining it. But I was successful at it.
The resolution to stand up for myself was always unsuccessful. I just let people walk all over me. I allowed this in many areas of my life~personal relationships, family relationships, friendships, as well as my professional relationships. I wanted to please everyone. I wanted everyone to like me. I felt everyone knew more than I did or they were better than I could ever be at something. Why? Why would I think that was OK. Why would I allow it? The answers didn’t come until my mid-30’s.
The thing is I knew inside I was able to do whatever I wanted to. I knew I had to work at it. I knew it would take time. I knew I was a good friend, good daughter, good student, good teacher, and later on a good wife and mother. I knew I deserved success and happiness. I knew I deserved respect. But none of that would happen unless I decided to believe it.
Unfortunately many of us, especially women, don’t realize this until we are much older, become a mom, or go through some sort of major loss in our life. But when it happens it is such an amazing feeling but at the same time it is scary. The release of having to always be a certain way is hard to put into words. There’s a huge weight that has been lifted off your shoulders. You begin to walk with more confidence and people react to it. You begin to attract the people who deserve to be in your life. The ones who will cheer you on, build you up, and help you remember you are capable of anything. But with this new confidence comes conflict. Conflict with the people who you have allowed for so long to treat you poorly. This conflict can either continue to help you grow or, if you allow it, knock you back down.
For me, the conflict has been a battle. I am not the same person I was at 18. I am not the same person I was at 27. I certainly am not the same person I was at 36. I have people in my life who continue to cheer me on and challenge me to step out of my comfort zone because they believe in me. I have lost people who were a major part of my life because they liked the old me. Sometimes the old me still comes out. But I like the new me because it is the true me.
So as this New Year begins, if I had to make a resolution it would be to be me. What would yours be?