You’re so strong
I don’t know how you do it
You are super mom
I am not any of those things. I am a mom. Every single mom (and dad) has the ability to be all of those things and more. Unfortunately you don’t know you have it in you until you have no other choice.
Stop and think….if your life was suddenly turned upside down and you were left to raise 3 babies. How would you handle it? Don’t say you don’t know. Yes you do. YOU WOULD DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABIES!
I have been told all of those things and more from people. I had no choice. I was not going to let my babies starve. I was not going to let my babies watch me fall apart. Believe me I had no idea I had it in me. I wanted to curl up in a ball and stay in bed. I wanted to ignore the world. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw things. I wanted to disappear. But I couldn’t. There were 3 other people who needed me. I had 3 other people who depended on me for all their daily needs. I had 3 other people who were scared and confused because all these people were coming in and out of our home. I had 3 other people who, just like me, wanted life to return the way it was. So I did what EVERY single mom (or dad) out there would do…I just did it.
I remember there being so many things that needed to be done in order for life to continue. I needed to prove I was married to my husband. I had to search for documents for our finances. I had to fill out so many papers. I was consumed by paperwork on top of planning a funeral. I had no idea how to plan a funeral yet alone the details that went into planning a funeral. I had to look at different types of caskets. I had to decide what kind of service I wanted, when, how long to have the viewing, where to hold the gathering following the burial. I had to find pallbearers. I had to figure out if I wanted a limo or just cars. I had to pick flowers. I didn’t care. I remember sitting at my dining room table and wanting to scream “GET OUT! JUST GET OUT!” All these things I had to do were taking time away from where I wanted to be~with my babies.
You learn a lot about yourself very quickly when faced with the unexpected. You learn that you have a choice to either give into the pain and do nothing. Or you decide to fight through the pain and do your best each day. I made the choice to fight through the pain. To this very day, I make the same choice. Some days the pain is in the background and I carry on with my new normal. But then I have days where the pain is so bad that all I can do to make it through the day is take it hour by hour or even minute by minute. It is a choice. It is not an easy choice.
I am strong. But I am not stronger than anyone else who is in the same situation. I don’t know how I do it. But I know who I do it for. I am a super mom. But I am only that because of my children. They are the ones who help me discover my super mom powers. I am who I am because of a choice I make every day. I am here to tell you that I am not different from any of you. YOU have all this and more inside you. It is a choice and sometimes it is the only choice you can make to keep on living your life.