I have officially become a yeller. I hate to admit it because that is not the type of person, teacher, or parent I ever set out to be. Just to set the record straight, I do not yell ALL the time and I am by no means too harsh (I am a pushover). And according to Ella, I am “a lover not a fighter”. I just find myself yelling A LOT more than I feel I should at my kids. But it feels so good! Sometimes it makes me feel so much better after I yelled at them. Then I have times when I go into the laundry room and cry.
We all have the days when you just had enough. You had enough of the constant reminders about the SAME thing. Yes, as an educator I have looked at the behavior and tried to find the underlining reason for the behavior. I have tried to model the appropriate behavior. Yada Yada Yada. But let’s face it, when your child does cartwheels through the kitchen for the 5th time after telling them not to because of the numerous reasons it is not safe or plain and simple, you are almost 10 you should know better, you are going to yell! When your child continuously kicks their sibling over and over, you are going to yell. When your child asks over and over for “x” and you have said calmly “not now” a few too many times, you are going to yell. If you do not react that way, I applaud you and want to know the secret. But I am owning the fact that I yell at them especially for behavior that they KNOW I do not tolerate.
I don’t set out to react to their inappropriate behavior by yelling. I have (continue to) calmly stated my requests, my dislikes, my points of views. But all of a sudden there is this look that comes across their face and I know they have tuned me out~you know the look. I have even tested this by adding funny words into a sentence and no one has caught it. But then when I raise my voice or go into crazy lady mode boy do I have their attention! I have asked them why do I have to get to the point of crazy lady for them to stop and truly listen. I get the famous shrug of the shoulders. Love that reaction.
I know that yelling isn’t solving anything. The adult in me is well aware that there is a better way. But the fed up, stressed out, and just plain irritated mom (or child in me) feels so much better after I yell at them. I know my point was well heard and I feel good…I got it out! I am simply getting my point across in a loud manner! And when I know I am being ridiculous, I will laugh at myself right in front of them. But honestly there is only so much a mom can take until she becomes the crazy lady. I just wish my kids would realize that I am always right (well most of the time) and they just need to accept it (ok deal with it).
I have those days when I look at them and what goes through my mind is just wrong. I know some of you know what I am talking about and some of you don’t want to admit to it. Those are the days I often think back to my own childhood and find myself quoting my parents (gasp)! But I get it now. I get why I drove them crazy and why I made them yell. It is what kids do. It’s like a right of passage. So I am truly looking forward to when they become parents and finally it hits them….in the head! Then they will understand how they created the crazy lady. I may be a yeller and I may turn into the crazy lady who just needs to chill but I am a victim of this thing called parenthood.