Reality Sets In

One day I woke up and reality hit me like a brick.  I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened but it was shortly after the year anniversary.  Suddenly I was faced with my life not only as a widow but as a single mom.  I was in charge of everything!  

This was not what I had signed up for.  This was not something my kids signed up for. I signed up for a life with my husband and children.  We planned on growing old together, travel, watch our children grow, deal with the growing pains of adolescence together….happily ever after was what I signed up for!

But now my reality is…

~Raising 3 children alone

~Taking care of our home

~Providing for our family

~Make ALL the decisions

~Deal with the “growing pains” alone

~Be a dad

~Teach my kids to tie shoes, ride bikes, throw a football, hit a baseball, fish, hunt

~Have the talks alone

~Raise a boy

~Raise 2 girls

~Teach them to drive

~Do the yard work

~Maintain the house

~Purchase appliances

~Be an exterminator

~Be in 3 places at once

~Have more “mommy guilt” than anyone will ever know

~Go to school functions alone

~Go to any social function alone

~Be alone

I think the whole idea of doing all of this alone is so overwhelming.  And when it set in, life got real.  My reality is all of this and more.  Not everyone understands it and those who know me, know I NEVER play the “widow card” ever! When reality hit, I had one choice…give up or keep fighting.  I chose to keep fighting.  It is a choice I make every single day.  It is the only choice I make without any reservation and it’s because of 3 beautiful individuals…they are my source of strength.

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