It Was All So Simple

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As we were celebrating Ella’s birthday, we were remincing about the early years.  At the time they seemed hard and there were days that I thought I would never get through.  But I would go back in a heartbeat!  It was all so simple.

Everything was so simple.  I simply fed, changed diapers, entertained, etc.  I didn’t have the same fears as I have now.  My fears then were about her reaching each milestone.  Now I worry about how she is making and keeping friends.  I worry about if she will make good choices when I am not around.  I worry about her anxiety and how our loss will continue to affect her.  I worry about having a bad relationship after the tween/teen years.  I worry about whether or not I am too hard on her or not hard enough.  I worry if I give too much or not enough.  I worry if I enable certain behaviors because it makes things easier for me.  I feel like I worry all the time now.  These same worries are for my other children as well.  And the fear of the unknown since all 3 of my children are completely different, keeps me up at night.

Is there anything a parent can do to relieve these worries?  No.  We can’t predict what life will throw at us.  We can’t predict how our children will react to all the different stages they go through until they are an adult.  We can’t put them in a bubble.  We can’t make every decision for them.  We can’t make life “perfect” so they feel no pain or experience no struggle.

All we can do is trust our instincts.  Trust that we are doing the right thing.  TRUST…what a hard thing to do.

One thought on “It Was All So Simple

  1. A mom of four (her kids are grown now) once told me that the years when kids are infants and toddlers are physically exhausting but the years when they get older and become teens are mentally exhausting for all the reasons you mentioned. Then they start driving and you worry about their safety and such. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about how the rest of my life I will pretty much always worry about my kids. I get overwhelmed here so often but I do love that they are all under one roof and I know where there are. It won’t always be that way. But like you said, we just do the best we can and at some point we just have to trust. but yes, so, so hard.

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