As we were celebrating Ella’s birthday, we were remincing about the early years. At the time they seemed hard and there were days that I thought I would never get through. But I would go back in a heartbeat! It was all so simple.
Everything was so simple. I simply fed, changed diapers, entertained, etc. I didn’t have the same fears as I have now. My fears then were about her reaching each milestone. Now I worry about how she is making and keeping friends. I worry about if she will make good choices when I am not around. I worry about her anxiety and how our loss will continue to affect her. I worry about having a bad relationship after the tween/teen years. I worry about whether or not I am too hard on her or not hard enough. I worry if I give too much or not enough. I worry if I enable certain behaviors because it makes things easier for me. I feel like I worry all the time now. These same worries are for my other children as well. And the fear of the unknown since all 3 of my children are completely different, keeps me up at night.
Is there anything a parent can do to relieve these worries? No. We can’t predict what life will throw at us. We can’t predict how our children will react to all the different stages they go through until they are an adult. We can’t put them in a bubble. We can’t make every decision for them. We can’t make life “perfect” so they feel no pain or experience no struggle.
All we can do is trust our instincts. Trust that we are doing the right thing. TRUST…what a hard thing to do.