Another honest talk occurred in our home this past weekend. We were having a family meeting about getting back into being consistent with helping out at home and creating a summer chore chart. So since I had their attention, I felt it was time for me to have a talk that I wanted to have for a while. It was time to discuss donating and selling some of Ryan’s things.
Yes it has been 4 years since his death. I have packed away his every day clothes, gave a few things to close friends as well as sell his jeep. But my garage and basement are filled with all things Ryan. As many of you know, Ryan’s passions were hunting, fishing, and anything that had to do with being outdoors. All of his things are still where they have always been and I feel I am ready to depart with them. I feel like there is no sentimental value anymore. They are just things. However, for the kids (especially Ella) these are reminders of what their dad loved and who he was as a person. So I approached this very carefully and I feel I presented it in a way that everyone would be happy.
We all agreed that all of his suits and dress shoes will be donated to an organization that helps people get back on their feet and set them up for job interviews. We are keeping his ties. I would like to have a heart or something sewn into the girls’ wedding dresses as well as allow Hunter to wear one for special occasions. The rest, we will see what we can do to create something sentimental.
The discussion of all of his hunting and fishing things didn’t go as smoothly as I assumed it would go. It was hard, especially for Ella, to distinguish between sentimental value and just things. But I think she was able to understand it and realizes it is time. And somehow she will be having one of his many duck decoys in her room! But it was something she asked for and she has every right.
Now the daunting task of figuring out the best way to sell these hunting and fishing items. I could honestly be a mini outdoors store~ I am being VERY honest! That is how much I have…it was his passion, his hobby, his escape. It will be hard for me at times. But I know it is time. I can’t move forward in trying to get a handle on the house without doing this. His office, by far, will be the hardest. It is HIM. So I may leave the decor as is but all his hobby supplies need to go. They are just sitting and I don’t want them to get ruined. It has obviously taken me some time to come to terms with this and know that by getting rid of his things, I am not getting rid of his memory.
So after some tears were shed, I feel this is another huge step for our little and mighty family. I know more tears will be shed over this but in my heart I know it is the right time.