I was contacted by a family member the other day. This is the first time in over 3 years this particular family member has reached out to me. I wasn’t sure nor am I still sure how I feel about it. Those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning know that I have no contact with my family-immediate and extended family. So to see this message come through was quite a shock.
There was nothing mean about the message. It was just an out of the blue message where she let me know she had been thinking about me and recently was given some childhood pictures of the two of us. She simply wished me well and said she understood if I didn’t respond back to her. I stared at the message for quite sometime deciding what I show do. I have had another family member contacted me a couple of times over the years and I am pretty certain the last contact was prompted by my mother so I chose not to respond. This message I didn’t get that gut feeling. I could be totally wrong but just really thought it deserved a response. See no matter what my family – immediate and extended – think of me, I know I am a good person and not the person they think I am.
After a few minutes, I just decided you want to know how things are? I’m going to tell you. And that is just what I did. I didn’t go into a lot of detail but enough to show how wrong they are in how they think our life is like. I am not dumb and I can say with much confidence that my response will be shared with other family members and ultimately get back to my parents. So I wanted them all to know that my kids have been through hell and all the emotional damage is coming to the surface. I am pretty sure they think because they were so young that some of the issues I deal with on a daily basis couldn’t be happening in our life. I let them know that I am not ok without and doing a lot on my own. I let them know that I have wonderful “family” who have been there for us.
But I made sure I didn’t just focus on how we are damaged. I wanted the point to be made how wonderful my children are and how they are finding their way. I shared their passions and their personalities. I wanted them to know what they are missing. Because even though my kids drive me crazy (I have a few blogs started about this) they are amazing! It is their loss that they do not have these 3 fantastic, loving, kind-hearted, and fun children in their lives. It is their loss for letting their own misconceptions get in the way of family and what family means. And I will quote the one line that can get me every time~
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind…or forgotten!
My little family has been through hell. We are fighters and we love each other. We know the true meaning of family. We make sure no one gets left behind. No one and nothing will ever come between us. We are grateful for the ohana we have chosen and do not take anything or anyone in our life for granted.