I Miss the Little Moments

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As I mentioned, this past weekend was filled with a lot of fun spent with family and friends.  As we were at a family friend’s for their son’s birthday party I found myself missing what could have been for the kids and I.  This happens every so often which is expected but this time it was different.  I could feel my heartbreaking even more.

I sat and watched all these dads interact with their kids.  They were racing them through an obstacle course bouncy house.  The looks on the kids faces.  The looks on their faces.  The interaction and love were just beautiful.  I saw the maturity in all of them.  I have known most of them since they first became fathers.  They have grown into such amazing dads.  No longer pushing the care of the kids onto their wives.  But getting right into the action and being hands on and loving every minute of it.  I sat there and my heart was aching for that for my children.

I could close my eyes and I could see Ryan doing all of that with our kids.  I could see him being competitive and wanting to beat them through the obstacle course. I could see him playing kickball or football with them.  I could see him getting down on Gracie’s level and encouraging her to keep going when she would get frustrated with something.  I could see him challenging me to race him.  I miss what was supposed to be for us.

I know this will pass.  It will still be there but the pain will go and hide for a little until something sparks it.  It is the little moments like this that sometimes bring the most pain.

So enjoy all these little moments and cherish them ❤

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