Today is one of those days I try to not bring attention to because of the pain it brings not just my children but to me. My children are reminded every single day how much their daddy loved them. But these words will never fill the void they will feel their entire life. It is a void that no matter what I do, will never be filled. All I can do is remind them of the love their daddy had for them.
Ryan was one of those dads that it took awhile to get into the “dad role”. He was at his best when they reached the age of 4 months or so. He was not a newborn kind of dad. Don’t get me wrong, he was hands on but I was much better at it and had more patience at the early stages in parenthood. But the love he had for these kids was undeniable. Ryan’s face lit up whenever he saw our kids. My kids lit up when he came home from work. There was no shortage of love in our family.
My heart aches for my kids. They are missing so much and are now noticing it. There are so many times they say to me how much they miss Ryan. There have been, and I am sure there will be more, tears about what they don’t have. I see them watch their friends interact with their dads. I see them longing for the same interaction. I see them interact with the wonderful men in their lives who love them like their own children. I see how they go out of their way to make them have a male role model in their life. I see how they go out of their way to show them how a man should be.
To their daddy in heaven~
You are missed more than words can say. Your kids are amazing. Your memory is alive in our home and they speak of you with such love. Thank you for loving them and for loving me. Although they were young when you left, you left an impression on them. They know the importance of having a big hard and how to treat others. They know how much you loved them, me, and our family.
To the men who love my kids as their own~
I can’t thank you enough. I can’t find the words to let you know how much it means to me and to them that you show them how it is to have a dad. To have a man in their life that gives them what I can’t. Thank you for your time. Thank you for allowing them to spend time with you and your family. Thank you for giving them times of normalcy. Thank you for all you do. I am forever grateful.