I am continuing my quest to whip my kids into shape due to my laziness of parenting over several months. YES I am owning responsibility for it. I had been lazy about enforcing chores and responsibilities. Bottom line the only excuse I have is I just would get frustrated and it was easier to do it myself. So the past 5 weeks I have been on top of them and I haven’t made it easy for them either.
I had instituted a dreaded chore chart that I absolutely hate. I don’t hate it because I don’t want them to do it. I hate it because I am still reminding them to do what is asked, I truly feel they should do some of it without being paid, they seem not to really care, and let’s be honest it is additional work on parents. But I have been changing it weekly and reminding them on a regular basis of what they have to do throughout the week. Some weeks were better than others however they have only received an allowance 1 out of the 5 weeks and it was only a portion of their allowance. PITIFUL! But like I said I am not making this easy. Expectations and standards are set high and they know it.
Our “How Full is Your Bucket” project~ let’s just say I think their buckets have holes in them! We are on week 2 of empty buckets. They each have earned 1 reward from it though. But it seems ever since earning the 1st reward they wanted, they have checked out.
So what to do, what to do?
The past week, I have declined pretty much every request. Can we go get ice cream…”no”. Can I get some nail polish? A pack of gum? That would be “no”. I have even (and this sounds horrible) been putting them in situations where they are going to want something just so I can say “no”. I know….very cruel of me. But it is working! They asked me the other night why I have been saying “no” to everything and I simply said that even though they may not come out and say “no” to me, their actions are saying it each and every time they don’t complete a chore, argue about putting your clothes away, telling me “I’ll do it later”, etc. And I have hit them where it hurts too….lost a couple afternoons of swimming as well as no technology (which is currently happening as I type this).
Is this really the correct way of handling this? Is there a better way? Should I not be so tough on them? I am sure there are better ways and I am sure I am making it too hard. But I want them to finally wake up and realize things what I have been teaching them since they were able to learn, everything is a privilege and they need to start appreciating what they have and me.
Parenting is such a tough job and so many times I have moments where I feel like I am screwing them up and they will grow up to hate me. I have moments where I will lay in bed at night and cry and just want to give up. It certainly would be a lot easier to just give in. But I am their mom and it is my job to teach them. If I don’t, I have failed them. So as hard as this is, I need to take each day- OK each hour – as they come and breathe. I need to keep on them and keep enforcing the dreaded chore chart. I need to keep teaching them with a side of “no”.