As my kids get older, the quality time we have as a family and even just alone is a minimum. Each day someone has something going on that takes away from the other two. After a whirlwind first month of school and getting into our crazy schedule, I am seeing little lights at the end of little tunnels that were once very dark.
I love the time each week I get to have one-on-one time with each of my kids. By far my youngest gets the best quantity of my time since she has me to herself every afternoon. But it is during this time I get to see how she is maturing and changing each day. It is during these afternoons that I love to snuggle with her and let her be her.
I love my weekly dinner dates with my son. Yes it is usually McDonald’s but I will take a burger and fries with him over anything any day of the week. He is the only male in the house. He is the middle child. He is the one I feel I need to learn how to connect with the most since I am obviously not a male myself…ha! In our short little date, I find out so much about what is going on in his mind and his world. This is where I am hoping the lines of communication begins and he knows he can tell me anything.
And as my oldest is changing and trying to find her way as an almost “tween”, I live for our late night drive to and from her one dance class. I put my pride and guilt aside and recruited help on one night where it is just her and I. It gives us a chance to just have girl talk. I am not just mom but a confidant. I hesitate to use the word “friend” here. It is such a fine line to walk with any child. But I think (or hope) that keeping that line drawn will create a special and unique bond that is even better than a friendship. I see how she is entering into the years of struggling to find herself and to find where she fits in on top of peer pressure and everything else that comes with growing up and I am scared for her. I know I wouldn’t want to be growing up in this day and age. It is during this time, I see the amazing young lady she is and this is when she truly confides in me.
I am very proud of myself that I have been able to put aside my guilt, my pride, my desire to do it all aside. Because let’s face it I can’t and no one can. I am taking full advantage of my weekly dates more and more as each week passes because I see the small changes they make for each of them and for me.
Finally I am entering into the first of my favorite seasons…Fall! There is nothing like waking up to the crisp cool air in the morning to make my day. And the colors….I LOVE Fall foliage! LOVE it! Fall just makes me happy.
What is not to love?!?? Happy Fall!!!!
Days are hard being a single parent. You constantly think about all you do wrong. You are always struggling with the decisions you make. You want to make sure you are present for each child yet you are one person and you are human. In your mind you know your children will appreciate you and everything you have done and will do for them. You know they will look back and see all the sacrifices you made for them.
As a single parent you make choices every single day alone. You make choices that ultimately put your needs on the back burner. You put your children first. You are not available to give much more to anything or anyone. You are stretched thin.
Are you trying to be a martyr?
Are you trying to prove you can do it all?
Are you trying to be put on a pedestal?
Are you looking for pity?
Are you looking for approval?
I can only speak for myself but I am not looking for any of the above. The only thing I am striving to be is the best parent I can be for my children. I simply want them to know they are loved. I simply want them to know I have their best interests at heart. I simply want them to know I am here for them. I simply want to get through a single day without my frustrations with life getting in the way.
Although I know what I strive for each and every day with my life and being a single parent, I know not every day will be the best day. I know there may be a stretch of time when everything seems to be pure chaos and I feel like I am failing them. But single parent or not, this is parenthood. I simply just want to be what my children need me to be.
I am taking a short break to enjoy the last days of summer vacation with my children. Enjoy these last days/weeks with your loved ones 🙂
I cherish my Sundays. Sundays are really the only day of the week where I feel like I don’t have to rush. There is no urgency to get in the shower before a certain time. There is no urgency to have the kids fed, dressed, and ready to go.
For me Sundays are about~
Enjoying a cup of coffee
Keeping it Simple
Football (soon VERY soon!!!)
Fresh Outlook on the days ahead
What day of the week do you cherish the most?
With the girls both having an activity in the morning this week, I am getting so special time with my son. This is very rare. I rarely have just one of my children unless it is a school day. So to say I am going to enjoy this opportunity is an understatement.
So I asked him what he wanted to do with the next 4 mornings without the girls and he immediately said he wanted Dunkin’ Donuts every morning, a trip to Dick’s to look at football stuff, and school shopping. I almost fell over on the last one but I will take it.
What is your favorite thing to do with each of your children?
These 5 days went by very quickly! I was much more aware of all the good things going on because I had in the back of my mind I have to come up with 3 positives! Maybe that wasn’t the way to go about it but it helped. I was more aware of the good moments and I will be honest some days I wasn’t sure there were going to be 3 for me to list.
So here are my final 3 Positives…MY CHILDREN
1. Lounging on the couch with Ella and talking about anything and everything uninterrupted for almost an hour this afternoon.
2. Hunter’s big heart. He took a heart-shaped soap and put it in a gift bag all on his own. I asked him what it was for and he simply smiled and gave me a hug.
3. My daily hug from Gracie. At some point each day, she will run up to me and say “I just need to hug you!”. Her little arms squeeze me tightly and she always whispers in my ear I love you.
This challenge made me more aware of how there are so many little things throughout a given day that occur to remind us just how wonderful our life is. Although the challenge is over, I am going to continue to find 3 positive things each day to remind me how lucky I am. And yes there will be days that I may only find 1 but it is still something.
I am passing this challenge onto you!